Monday, September 5, 2011

Third Campaign, First Challenge: Flash Fiction, Baby!

The first challenge for us campaigners is to write flash fiction starting with the phrase "the door swung shut."

A Discovery

The door swung open and Detective Corey Malone eased into her apartment.  The reek of rotting flesh made it difficult to breathe.
     Her eyes scanned for signs of blood on the walls, on the floor. They caught on a pair of feet protruding from her bedroom. 
     Squaring her shoulders, she inched forward. 
     Corey began a slow examination of the entire body.  The victim lay naked, face-down, but she knew it was male: his hands were large, his waistline straight, and the angles of the shoulders square and sharp.  Bruises spotted his back. The head was crushed on the right side, hunks of brain tangled in the blood-drenched hair. Her eyes searched the body, trying to piece together what seemed strange about it.  Obviously, the victim sustained a series of blows to his back, shoulders and head, but even with the swelling, she noticed that there was a lack of synchrony amongst the different parts of his body.  And the way he was lying -- it seemed awkward.
      Awkward.
      Corey was staring at the corpse of a teenager. A teenager that looked just like her partner’s son.
      A warning. She was not doing what the killer wanted.
      The front door swung shut. 

29 comments:

  1. Oh no! How horrid to be the cause of a death! Well done. :)

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  2. Oh! Creepy good. I enjoyed it immensely. An incredibly good read.

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  3. The last line was definitely the killer blow :-)

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  4. I love the repetition of the word awkward. It enhances the idea perfectly. Great piece of writing.

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  5. Creepiness!! I want to know more now! :-)

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  6. Very interesting - the scene gets the reader right into the action. There's no greater hook than that. The pieces also moves at good pace.
    Just a couple of comments
    -The victim lie naked, face-down,
    I believe it should be 'lay' rather than 'lie'

    - does the rule say to *start* or *end* with the phrase "the door swung shut."?

    E

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  7. Very disturbing. good job. Mine is #72

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  8. Oooh - creepy and yucky too! I loved it though. Very intense. I always love stuff with detective work. Great job.

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  9. Uh oh!! Chilling! Well done! :) Leaves you wanting more.

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  10. Another piece begging to be expanded into a longer story. You can just feel the horror as Corey tries to stay professional and detached.

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  11. I am so glad I am not Detective Corey Malone. That was very realistic. So, while I am most definitely disturbed, I am also impressed by your writing.

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  12. You've got a small typo :) It should be, 'The victim lay naked' not, 'The victim lie naked'.

    Sounds like you've got the beginnings of an interesting crime thriller...

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  13. Hi Holly! Such an intriguing story and I could visualize every gruesome detail :) Great!

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  14. Wow. Perfect amount of gory detail, just the right amount of mystery and a thrilling ending. Bravo.

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  15. Make mine a double of what Julie said..... lol. That was also creepy..

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  16. Wow, this is creepy! I like it!

    I'm a new follower to your blog and love the Bad Romance references. :)

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  17. Very nice =) I couldn't do the first challenge because it over laped with the 3 day novel contest, I write my book by hand and then I have to spend the rest of the week typing it. Too bad it sounded like a hoot!

    I am in your paranormal group, I accidenly missed that group when I followed everyone elses blogs so I am trying to get caught up now. Sorry!

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  18. Terrific description! Chilling stuff!

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  19. Very creepy story in such a short period of time! I LOVED IT. Definitely going to stick around for more from you!

    I'm new in this neck of the woods but so glad I made it to check out this piece!! Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

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  20. What did the killer want her to do? I want to know what happens next!

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  21. Well done on the flash fiction! Scary.

    I'm posted your blog on twitter today. Follow me if you like: http://www.twitter.com/ketadiablo.

    Have a great week! Another #writecampaign, Keta

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  22. Very chilling, I liked it a lot.

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  23. Like it, or rather, I didn't like it! Great writing but horrible ending. I also loved the stupid teenager story. Hilarious. How do you keep a straight face? I'm a new blogger and now a new follower and looking forward to more stories from you :)

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  24. Oh that was awful, dark, creepy and so scary good!1

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  25. Whoa! So creepy! I had to reread it a couple of times because it was so good!

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