Maybe there'll be peace in the Middle East.
As many of us single women, I am on several dating websites. Unfortunately, especially in this digital age, I am much better in person than I am online, so it not much is happening on that front.
I don't check in on these dating sites. I am being abnormally passive and am waiting to get an email that someone has "noticed" me, "sent me an ice-breaker," or "nudged me."
But, the other day I received an email notifying me that I've been matched with Odysseus.
|NOT the Odysseus with whom I was matched.|
Of course, I get matched with the guy who will leave me to fight in a war over some other guy's woman, and then piss off the gods so that he is lost at sea for 20 years fighting monsters and committing adultery.
Why couldn't I get matched with Jay Gatsby? That guy is rich, handsome, looks good in a pink suit, and doesn't care if I want to act like a self-centered twit with no backbone.
Or what about Heathcliff? Why don't I get matched with that guy?
Rochester? (Oh wait, I don't do well with crazy exes. I bring enough of the crazy on my own.)
Romeo? (I'll have to register as a sex-offender.)
Jeez, dating is a bitch.
Marc Antony? I have a cat named Cleopatra--is that enough to lure him?
Lancelot? I'm down with a Lancelot + King Arthur + me threesome (Goddess bless Marion Zimmer Bradley.)
Edward Cullen even. (Okay, he is perpetually in high school, but being a high school teacher, so am I! We could get into some interesting role-playing). On second thought, I just threw up in my mouth.
With my luck, I'll probably get matched with Hamlet next. He'll shower me with affection, and then send me a zillion mixed signals, leave my ass, and finally declare his undying love when it's too late--but hopefully somewhere between me frolicking in the meadows like a loon and drowning myself.
Oh wait, I've already dated Hamlet. A few times.
Please, comment on which characters you'd love to be "matched" with.